Love is forDarcy?
by redrussian64
Summary: ONE SHOT: Clint gets Natasha "I can kill a man with my thighs and simultaneously hack into the C.I.A." Romanoff to watch a chick-flick, and she likes it?


"You're not serious, are you?" Natasha asked, exasperated.  
"Of course not, I'm Clint. However, I see your point, and the answer is yes."  
"Clint, you know how I feel about—"  
"Yeah, yeah, I know, but c'mon! Give it a shot, Romanoff," Clint pleaded. "I'll do your laundry for a month, I'll stop taking the vodka from your stash, I'll—"  
"You'll do what, now? I didn't hear you say—"  
"Look, that isn't important right now. Please?"  
Nat sighed deeply (and also rather loudly) and slumped down onto the couch in the large central room of Avengers Tower. "Pop it in, Barton."  
"Niiiiccceee. I owe you one."  
"Exactly how many 'ones' _do_ you owe me at this point?"  
"We're not gonna talk about it," Clint said as he flipped onto the couch next to Nat, pressing the "Play" button on the remote.  
"Clint, are you kidding me? This is—"  
"Shut up."  
 _"This is the sappiest kid I've ever met_ ," thought Nat.

 **Two hours later…**

"That… that was…"  
"Amazing? Beautiful? LEGENDARY?"  
"Everything I've ever thought..."  
"I know. Ooohhh Romanoff do I know."  
They sat in stunned silence, staring at the black screen, for a solid five minutes.  
"Hey… hey Nat…"  
"Yes?"  
"How're you feeling?"  
"I don't know."  
"Are you sure you're not feeling… completely, peRFECTLY, AND INCANDESCENTLY HAPPY? OOOHHHHHHHH."  
"Oh, Clint. Have I ever told you how ardently I love and admire you?"  
They laughed. And laughed. And laughed. I swear they laughed for a good fifteen minutes.  
"Hold up, hold up, I have an idea," said Natasha, gasping for breath.  
"Go for it."  
"Well..."

 **One week later**

"NO. Absolutely not. Why would I do that? And this person's name is _Kitty_?  
 _Why_ would I want to prance around in a costume pretending to be someone named _Kitty_?!"  
"Come on, Stark, it'll only be for a few hours. Plus we've already got your costume put together," Clint reasoned.  
"It isn't my fault you've wasted the Earth's materials."  
"Even Cap agreed."  
"And you think telling me Mr. Star Spangled Booty agreed to your Halloween party in May that I'm going to put on a dress and pretend to feign over some inadequately-weapon-clad soldiers? Out of the question."  
"What if I told you _Fury_ and _Hill_ said yes?"  
"I'd take over S.H.I.E.L.D. and call myself Director Stark. That's ridiculous."  
"Do it or I revoke every privilege I've ever granted you," came a deep voice from behind Tony.  
"Do you always blackmail people for your fantasies."  
"Always. Now put this on, I'm sure you'll look gorgeous," Fury said as he held out a spring-green, frilly dress.  
Tony ripped the dress out of Fury's outstretched hand and stalked off. "This is ridiculous."

 **Three hours later**

"I've been stripped of my manhood and clothed in indignity," Tony whined. He was wearing the ankle-length, spring-green, and frill-lined dress with an ivory bonnet. "I don't understand why this is something I have to be brought into."  
"Oh shut up, Stark. Embrace it! This is actually pretty fun.  
 _Pride and Prejudice_ is one of my favorites," said Cap. Much unlike Tony, Steve was wearing a full 18th century suit. Boy oh boy was it detailed, too. Cap had it perfect—from the tailed coat to the white, fluffy cravat.  
" _You're_ not the one dressed like a TEENAGE GIRL FOR JARVIS' SAKE."

"I thought we discussed you taking my name in vain sir," chimed in the AI "Or should we bring out your high school yearbook?"

Tony made a mad dash for the AI's control panel desperately trying to mute him, mumbling something about "pimples" and "no one _taught_ me how to use a razor…"  
"A decision has been made, Stark. Get over it," chimed in Fury. He was in approximately the same get-up as Cap.  
"If we can get through this," Maria motioned to Fury and herself, "then you can too. And it's only for a couple of hours." Maria Hill was wearing an ankle-length, beige skirt with a light pink top, accented at its neck the ends of its sleeves by white material. Wait for it… _she was also wearing a sunhat that tied underneath her chin._  
"I cannot believe this. Why couldn't _I_ have been a guy, huh? This is a severe injustice— ARE YOU KIDDING ME. ROMANOFF, TOO?"  
Nat and Clint walked in wearing the most authentic Elizabeth-Darcy costume replicas imaginable.

"Where'd you buy those Nat? Amazon?" queried Hill.

"Killing isn't my only talent Maria," said Nat with a Cheshire cat-like grin, she turned towards Tony, "and for your information, Stark, this was my idea.  
"Whatever. Let's just hurry up and get these pictures taken so I can take this off," Tony sauntered off, his dress swaying with his hips.  
And in that moment, I swear Natalia Alianovna Romanova  
 _giggled_.


End file.
